HulkOut in Stars Hollow
by 2wingo
Summary: Gilmore Girls/Incredible Hulk crossover. David Banner has come to Stars Hollow to continue his search for a cure to his condition. But when one of his assistants is involved in a Gamma-ray accident, not even Hulk may be able to save the sleepy town.
1. Meet David

_**(A/N: Howdy, to all fans of **__**Gilmore Girls**__** and **__**The Incredible Hulk**__**. I got this idea after listening to a series of inaudible sound pulses that affect your brain's electromagnetic waves to enhance your creativity. Anyway, This doesn't take place around any particular season, but these are give: Rory is dating and in love with Dean; Jess is living in Stars Hollow; Rory and Paris are somewhat friends. Please Read and Review.)**_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gilmore Girls, nor do I own The Incredible Hulk. If I did, then Dean and Rory would never have broken up, and the show wouldn't have ended with 3 made-for-TV movies, respectively.

**Notice:** I consider none of the Incredible Hulk movies (_The Incredible Hulk Returns_, _The Trial of the Incredible Hulk_, and _The Death of the Incredible Hulk_) canon, so this fic takes up after the episode "A Minor Problem" ends.

* * *

_Dr. David Banner: physician; scientist. Searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have. Then an accidental overdose of gamma radiation interacts with his unique body chemistry. And now, when David Banner grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs. The creature is driven by rage and pursued by an investigative reporter named Jack McGee._

(Banner: "Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.")

_An accidental explosion took the life of a fellow scientist, and supposedly David Banner as well. The reporter thinks the creature was responsible._

(McGee: "I gave a description to all the law enforcement agencies; They got a warrant for murder out on him.")

_A murder which David Banner can never prove he or the creature didn't commit. So he must let the world go on thinking that he, too, is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him._

(Hulk: "Raarrrrrrrrrrrr!!!")

* * *

"C'mon, Dean," said Rory, pulling her boyfriend's shirt sleeve, "We're gonna be late." They were headed to the late night showing of Bride Wars, and Dean was somewhat less than enthusiastic.

"I saw this movie with Clara already," moaned Dean, his voice bordering on a whine, "You know how much I hate chick-flicks."

"And that is exactly why we make you come," said Lorelai, double-checking her pockets for the hidden candy. Ever since Kirk had stopped working as an usher, they'd been able to sneak almost anything in. Of course, they still bought huge buckets of popcorn with enough butter to clog Paul Bunyan's arteries.

"It just seems so stupid and petty," said Dean, "They're supposed to be best friends, and yet they're at each other's throats. Am I to be blamed if I don't like the way it portrays women?"

Rory gave him a confused look with a capital "L."

"My mom made me read The Feminine Mystique when I was 13," said Dean, looking at his shoes.

"And yet you still support the Donna Reed lifestyle?" asked Lorelai.

"Let's not bring that up again," said Rory. The movie was about to start, so they headed for the theater. Lorelai, who had handed off the junk food to Dean, ran headfirst into someone and spilled his drink.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," she said, vainly brushing the front of his shirt.

"It's perfectly alright," said the man, "It was only an accident."

"At least let me buy you a replacement drink," said Lorelai, gesturing for Rory and Dean to go on without her.

An hour and a half later, Dean and Rory exited the theater.

"You owe me big time for this one," said Dean, only half-jokingly.

"We barely watched the movie," said Rory, "We made out almost the whole time."

"We could have done that anywhere," said Dean, "but you and Lorelai dragged me to a movie that I hated."

"Speaking of my mom, what happened to her?"

Then, both of them saw her, sitting at a table with the man she had run into. They were having a rather animated discussion.

"Rory, Dean," said Lorelai, looking at them and beckoning them over, "This is Dr. David Benson. He just got into town, and he'll be staying that the Independence Inn."

"A pleasure to meet the both of you," said David, warmly shaking their hands.

"So, are you a medical doctor or a Ph.D.?" asked Dean.

"Both, actually," said David, "I received my M.D. from Harvard and a Ph.D. in Biochemistry from Stanford. I double as a medical researcher – "

"You're a Harvard man?!" ask Rory excitedly, "I'm planning on going to Harvard!"

"Really?" said David, genuinely interested, "What's your major going to be?"

"Journalism," she said.

Lorelai and Dean realized that the conversation was going in an eggheaded direction and did their best to zone out.

* * *

_**(A/N: Yeah, I know, I suck like a Hoover when it comes to beginnings. Don't worry, though, subsequent chapters WILL be longer and better. Any criticism or ideas will be welcome. Please Review.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	2. Peace at Last?

_**(A/N: I've hit a slight dry spell with TNAOSH, so I'm just gonna focus on this for a little while. Please Read & Review.)**_

* * *

The next morning, several trucks arrived at the Independence Inn with boxes of test tubes, chemicals, computers, and books on nuclear physics and radiology. Michel spent 30 minutes trying to convince them to go away before Lorelai stepped in and made him sign for the stuff.

"What **is** all of this, anyway?" asked Michel.

"It's David's stuff," said Lorelai, "he's moving it into the potting shed so he can do his experiments in a quasi-out of town location."

"But what about the filthy little man already there?"

"Rune moved out last night," said Lorelai, making no attempt to disguise her glee, "And David's paying us a month's rent in advance."

"This is a hotel, Lorelai," said Michel, glaring, "Not an apartment complex. Besides, there is something very strange about a man who only pays in cash – "

"Michel," said Lorelai, now serious, "When Mia isn't here, **I** am her proxy, not you. I will run this inn however I see fit, and as long as it's profitable, you have a job."

Michel took the hint, but muttered under his breath, "_Ceux qui rient le vendredi, pleureront le dimanche_."

* * *

That night, Dean and Rory lay on the hood of the car Dean had built for her, staring at the stars. The radio played _Tim McGraw_ by Taylor Swift.

"I've never really done this before," said Dean, his voice uncommonly philosophical, "It's nice."

"You see that constellation?" said Rory, pointing, "That's Orion, the hunter. And over there, that's Sagittarius." Dean was too busy staring at Rory. Of course, Rory, being the astute young woman that she was, noticed.

"Dean, what's with you tonight?" she asked in a giggly way.

"You look so beautiful in the moonlight," he replied distantly, "I mean, you're always beautiful, but this is about the prettiest I've ever seen you."

"Ah, you're so sweet," she said, kissing him, "I think this is the best date we've ever been on."

"It may be the only date we can go on for a while," Dean replied quietly, turning his head away from her.

"Why?"

"Taylor's threatening to fire me. Doose's has been broken into twice, with no sign of forced entry. Since he and I have the only keys, he thinks I've been robbing him."

"Dean, that's awful," said Rory, putting her arms around him.

"And God forbid he should consider that _his_ key was stolen and isn't 'lost,'" said Dean bitterly, "I break my back working for him, and he doesn't even have the decency to trust me."

"That's just Taylor," said Rory, "Ultimately, he doesn't trust anyone but Taylor."

Dean turned back to Rory and smiled. "You're a great girlfriend, Rory."

"You are correct," she said, laying her head on his chest.

* * *

David carefully went over his equipment, making sure that nothing was damaged or out of place. Once he was satisfied, he went over to his tape-recorder and hit the little red button.

"January 17," he said, speaking loudly enough to be heard by the microphone, "It remains to be seen if I have made a wise choice in coming to this small Connecticut town. While the particular area bears no real scrutiny, the inhabitants seem to be very gossipy, even meddling. Fortunately, the town does not receive the National Register, and it is unlikely that the Hulk will be known here. The equipment I was able to purchase has arrived. My search continues for the serum, henceforth referred to as 'Hulkbuster,' which will end my transformations into the creature. Entry to be continued." He stopped when he heard someone knocking on the shed door.

"David?" said Sookie, poking her head in, "You've been in here almost all day. You should come inside and have some dinner. There's curried chicken, rice, fettuccine alfredo, and cheese soufflé for dessert."

"Uh, I'll be there in just a few minutes, Sookie," said David, "I have to finish a few things here."

"Okay," she said, closing the door. David breathed a sigh of relief and reactivated his tape-recorder.

"Dr. Jeffrey Clive's notes for the creation of Hulkbuster were destroyed in the early 1950's, leaving me nothing other than a vague reference to pineal extract and a type of anabolic reaction caused by gamma ray exposure. With luck, my experimentation with radioactivity-reducing elements and improvements upon my prolixin/amino compound will yield success. Entry concluded."

David shut off the recorder and went to the inn to grab a bite. A few hours and an exceedingly good dinner later, he went to his room on the third floor to prepare for bed. As he shaved, he realized that he had a few gray hairs.

_After all this time_, he thought to himself, _I've finally begun to show my age._ Though he appeared to be a fit man in his late 30's, David was much older, approaching his late 70's. He'd realized about 25 years ago that he had the Hulk's regenerative powers to thank for that. Every time he transformed, the Hulk's accelerated healing would partially undo the gradual cellular damage that came with aging.

"But at what cost?" said David to himself, "32 years of my life wasted; widowed twice; not being able to attend my own father's funeral; living with the fear of discovery by that rat bastard, Jack McGee?!"

David realized that his heart-rate was beginning to escalate, and took several deep, steadying breaths to calm himself down. He switched off the lights and flopped down upon the bed, hoping that the nightmares would not come.

* * *

_**(A/N: Still a little slow, but it'll pick up. Please Review.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	3. Working 9 to 5

_**(A/N: Can't give away any of the plot, so just keep on reading & reviewing.)**_

* * *

_He's still out there. I _know _he's still out there,_ thought Jack McGee. Though he had retired from the newspaper game years ago, the Hulk was still his greatest obsession. Even a brilliant sunrise couldn't take his mind from the man-beast that had made his career.

"Time for breakfast, Mr. McGee," said the resident nurse in that sickeningly sweet voice that always grated his ears.

"Whatever," he growled as she pushed his wheelchair toward the dining room. How long had he been in this hellhole? Too long. With no family, no real savings, and no insurance, McGee'd had no choice but to live in a nursing home.

"Ah, buck up, mister," said the nurse, "You've got your regular visitor just waiting to see you."

At this, McGee's mood genuinely improved. Ever since the Register had been acquired by a newspaper mogul named Mitchum Huntzberger, he'd been sending his son to learn the trade. When he was finally allowed to go back to his room, he found Huntzberger waiting for him.

"Morning, Mr. McGee," he said, flashing his perfectly white teeth in a charming smile, "So what's the lesson for today?"

"Good morning, Logan," said McGee, grabbing his walker and forcing himself up, "Tell me, what do you know about the Hulk?"

"Only what you wrote about him," said Logan, "That he was a man who turned into a monster that killed a pair of scientists."

"There's more to it than that," said McGee, "It's time for me to tell you the whole story. You've been a good student, Huntzberger, and you'll do well in this business. Since I don't have much longer to live, I need you to carry my legacy."

McGee took a packet of newspaper clippings from his shelf and opened it. "Over 30 years ago," he said, showing Logan the pictures, "Two scientists, Dr. David Banner and Dr. Elaina Marks, were conducting human enhancement trials. I tried for weeks to get an interview, but they refused at every turn. Near my final attempts, something happened. A great, green man began appearing, a being of prodigious strength, a hulk. I knew that Marks and Banner were involved somehow, so I broke into their lab to find evidence. They threw me out, but I heard the way they spoke of the green creature. They were terrified! Later that night, there was a fire, and the lab was blown to smithereens. I saw the Hulk run out of the wreckage, with Dr. Marks in his arms."

McGee stopped to take a hit off his oxygen tank and continued, "The next morning, Dr. Marks' body was found. There were great bruises upon her body, as though something extremely heavy had been dropped on her. Dr. Banner's body was never even found, presumably destroyed in the explosion. I sent out photographs of the creature to every law-enforcement agency in the country, and made it my personal mission to find the Hulk and avenge the deaths of Marks and Banner. Help me hook up my colostomy bag, will you, Logan?"

When that unpleasant business was finished, McGee finished the story, "A couple years after, I ended up actually meeting the Hulk. It turned out that he is a normal man who, when he gets angry or upset, transforms into the Hulk. He was stricken with amnesia at the time, and went by John Doe. I've since deduced that he was experimented on by Banner and Marks, and the Hulk was just a lab accident. I met him again about a year after, and actually had to help him escape the government's clutches when I found out that they just wanted to use him as a weapon."

"What does he look like?" asked Logan.

"I don't really know," admitted McGee, "The first time, he'd been badly burnt and his face was covered in bandages. The second time, he was suffering from the effects of a radioactive meteor, and his transformation had stopped somewhere between man and hulk. I do know, however, that he is a very average, unassuming man in height, weight, and build. Dark brown hair and hazelish eyes that turn greenish-white when he changes."

"Did you ever see him again?"

"Not personally," said McGee, inching toward the window, "but I pursued him across this great country, following any tiny lead which might lead me to John Doe. I wanted to help him find a cure for his condition, but he apparently believed that it was something he'd best do on his own. In the early 90's, he dropped out of sight completely and I was forced to retire. But here's the thing: I KNOW he's still out there, Logan. Even since I first saw him, I've had this . . . feeling that's always helped me to follow him. And my feeling tells me that he's still alive, and still trying to find a cure for himself."

"And you want me to keep up the search," said Logan.

"Exactly." McGee turned around to face his protégé. "Reporting is in your blood, Huntzberger," he said, "I need someone who shares my thirst for the truth to keep up the search for the Hulk. He thinks he can go it alone, but he _can't_. Or else he'd have cured himself by now. This is the final journalistic assignment I'm going to give you, boy: Find the Hulk and tell his story to the world."

* * *

"JESS, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!" shrieked Luke up the stairs. The diner was swamped and he had to run from table to table to get every order. On top of that, Caesar called in sick and he was making everything by himself!

"Right here, Uncle Luke," said Jess, who quickly grabbed an apron and started manning the grill.

"What's with you?" asked Luke, suspicious. Jess was not only being helpful, but he was doing it without an attitude.

"I haven't the slightest idea what you mean," replied Jess in an innocent voice.

"Cut the crap, Jess," said Dean, setting down a stack of dishes, "You've barely said a word or done a thing around here since you arrived, and now you're happy to be helpful?"

"Someone had an extra bowl of cynic-flakes this morning," said a perky voice behind him. He turned and saw Lorelai and Rory behind him.

"Coffee and pancakes comin' right up," said Luke, busying himself.

"I'd rather have waffles – " began Lorelai

"You're having pancakes!" Luke said it with a voice that threatened unspeakable pain on anyone who contradicted him.

"What's up with Mr. Sourpuss?" asked Rory.

"Got me," replied Jess, "I just came down to help out and he bit my head off. I was going to ask him for a raise, but I'm little too fond of living."

"How much does he pay you?" asked Rory.

"Supposedly minimum wage," said Jess, "but he deducts for my 'living expenses,' so it only amounts to about three bucks an hour."

Rory made a face at Lorelai. Lorelai shook her head no, but Rory started to gesticulate, and Lorelai finally mouthed _fine!_

"You know, Jess," said Lorelai, "if you're looking to pick up some extra cash, we could use a handyman around the inn."

"Maybe," he said with a reserved shrug, "If I get some spare time, I'll come around."

* * *

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, TAYLOR!"

"I am doing nothing of the kind, young man! You are fired!"

"FOR WHAT?!" shouted Dean, looming over Taylor.

"Three times my store has been robbed," snapped Taylor, "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times, and your employees are lining their pockets! Now turn in your key and apron and get out of my store before I call the police!"

Dean threw down the key and apron, swore loudly, and saluted Taylor with not all five fingers before storming out of the market.

About a block later, David appeared and started walking next to him.

"I saw what happened, Dean," said David, "I didn't like that man from the moment I met him."

"He gets worse as time goes by," said Dean.

David stepped in front of Dean and said, "Dean, if you're interested in a new job, I could use an assistant down at my lab."

"David, I appreciate the effort," said Dean, "but I can find my own work."

"I'll pay you double what Taylor did," called David, causing Dean to stop.

"I'll be by tomorrow after school," said Dean.

* * *

_**(A/N: Jess and Dean working in the same proximity? You just know when it's going to go badly. Please Review.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	4. Return of the Green Goliath

_**(A/N: Please Read & Review.)**_

**Dedication:** I dedicate this chapter to my friend hermie-the-frog, who turned 17 recently. Happy belated birthday, Alex!

* * *

"February 8," said David into his recorder, "While my experiments using plant-based enzyme inhibitors to mitigate the effects of gamma radiation upon laboratory mice have been, for the most part, successful, my own blood indicated no such mitigation when exposed to the same relative amount of 90 parts per million. Any higher concentration runs the risk of lethal toxicity, thus making it no longer a viable option as a replacement Hulkbuster."

David stopped to write down some figures on a piece of paper and continued. "My use of t'ai chi and yoga, on the other hand, has allowed me to all but eliminate the stress that causes my genetic divergences. As it now stands, my last transformation into the Hulk was approximately three months ago. Entry concluded."

David shut off the recorder as Dean entered. "You're early," said David, looking at the clock.

"I didn't have any homework, and I hate being idle," said Dean, "If I'm too early, I can always – "

Dean looked around. The high school chemistry lab was NOTHING like this. Gleaming white machines, vials with chemicals in every color, the most high-tech computers, and a cabinet that, judging by the black and yellow sign, had dangerous stuff in it.

"Actually, your timing is excellent," said David, "I have to go up to Hartford for a few hours. While I'm gone, I need you to organize my chemicals, feed the mice, and make sure the electrical lines are up and running." David threw on his coat and hurried out.

* * *

Rory hopped off the bus and headed toward Luke's. She normally waited to go with her mother, but she'd been craving cheese and meat all day for whatever reason. When she went inside, Jess was waiting tables.

"Hey," he said, almost as if he barely noticed her.

"Hi," replied Rory, "Cheeseburger, please."

Jess brought out the burger and sat down next to her. "I don't mean to pry," he said, "but what, exactly, do you see in Dean?"

"What do you mean?" asked Rory.

"I've seen him in school, and frankly, he doesn't seem like your kind of guy," said Jess, "He even had trouble seeing the metaphors in The Great Brain."

"There's more to love than book-learning, Jess," said Rory, frowning slightly, "Dean is a wonderful person, and I don't like what you're insinuating about him."

Jess held up his hands defensively. "Okay, okay," he said, "I'm sorry. Look, the reason I came over is because I got something for you." He pulled out a paperback copy of a book and handed it to Rory.

"'Sexus,'" she read off the cover, "'by Henry Miller.' I haven't read this one in school."

"You wouldn't've," said Jess, "It's kinda controversial, so it's banned from most schools. I thought you'd like it."

"Well, thanks," Rory replied, slipping it into her book-bag and hurrying out.

* * *

"I don't know what has gotten into Luke, lately," said Lorelai as she marched into the kitchen.

"What's wrong with Luke?" asked Sookie.

"That's the thing," replied Lorelai, "I don't know. Yesterday, he almost tore my head off because I wanted something other than pancakes, and today, he's almost cheerful. It's like when Spock underwent the Pon Farr on Star Trek."

"You know, I read something like in a magazine," said Sookie, busying herself, "It's something men go through call Irritable Male Syndrome, or IMS. It's like the male version of PMS."

"There's a PMS for men?" asked Lorelai, shuddering at the thought.

"That's what I read," said Sookie, "You should ask David about it."

Lorelai nodded and said, "I have to talk to him, anyway. I don't know what he's doing out there, but our electric bills are off the charts."

Lorelai started to walk out, but she heard Sookie say, "He's kinda cute, isn't he?"

"Who?" she asked, "David?"

"Yeah," said Sookie, as if it were blatantly obvious, "He's got those big brown doe-eyes, a charming smile, and . . . I don't know, he's just got that genuine kind of humility that makes a man really sexy."

"All that may be true, Sookie," replied Lorelai, "but dating the guests isn't exactly the height of professionalism. Besides, I thought you were dating Jackson."

"I don't mean me, Lorelai," said Sookie, "I meant you."

"Me?!" asked Lorelai, a little too loudly, "You think I should date David? Why?"

"Well, why not?" said Sookie, "He's nice, down-to-earth, low-maintenance, Rory likes him, and he's a doctor."

"What does being a doctor have to do with anything?"

"Your parents would approve, right?"

"Sookie, you should know by now that my parents' approval is actually a turn-off for me."

"Even so," said Sookie, "It couldn't hurt to give the guy a chance."

Lorelai walked out of the kitchen, but turned back to Sookie for a second and said, "I'll think about it."

* * *

**Hartford**

Meanwhile, David was scouring every newsstand he could find for scientific journals. At every one, he was disappointed, for none of them had anything new about radiation. Finally, he stopped at a small one by the bus stop that would take him back to Stars Hollow.

"What can I do you for?" asked the cashier.

"Just a bottle of water," said David, "a Hershey's bar with almonds, and – " David's heart nearly stopped when he saw the words "cure for radiation poisoning" on a magazine.

"Say, buddy, you okay?" asked the cashier.

"Fine," said David, "I'll take that magazine, too." He paid the man and quickly walked off, reading the magazine as he went. It was the latest copy of _American Scientist_, and it was just what David had been searching for.

"'An experimental serum, ISO-36,'" read David as he went along, "'created on the West Coast, has been shown to neutralize radioactive particles in patients exposed to amounts in excess of 50 Sieverts, which has up until now been considered the incurably lethal dose of radiation poisoning, allowing them to recover completely. A sample of this wonder drug will be on display at a charity benefit at the University of Hartford, funded by Richard and Emily Gilmore, on the 11th of February.'"

David stopped and sat down, too excited to care if he missed his bus. _What luck,_ he thought to himself, _I may never get an opportunity like this, again. But such an event will be strictly by invitation only. How do I get past security long enough to steal the ISO-36?_

David's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a nearby struggle. He looked and saw a man brandishing a knife against a woman in what appeared to be a typical mugging.

"Stay out of it, Banner," said David to himself, "there's nothing you can do to help without causing harm. Besides, it's only money."

But then the man dragged the woman into a nearby ally, and David realized that this was more than a mugging. He had to help her.

"Let her go!" shouted David as he ran into the ally. The mugger, caught by surprise, released the woman, who ran out the other end.

"You're gonna pay for messin' in my business," snarled the mugger. David threw a punch at the man, but he ducked and landed a right-cross right into David's solar plexus.

David slumped to the ground and wheezed, "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

The mugger just chuckled and said, "Yeah? Well, you REALLY ain't gonna like me when I'M angry." He began to kick David viciously, not noticing that his eyes were starting to turn a greenish-white . . .

* * *

_**(A/N: REALLY subtle, Jess. Really subtle. And I don't know about you, but I'd sure hate to be that mugger right now. Please Review.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	5. Let the Hunt Begin

_**(A/N: Long before anyone smelled what the Rock was cookin', the Rock smelled what the Hulk was cookin'. And it wasn't Niblets corn in a Boil-In Bag. Please Read and Review.)**_

* * *

_Rrrrr . . ._

The throaty growl escaped his mouth. His clothes began to rip and tear as his muscles grew exponentially and his skin and hair turned a deep green. All sensory input became chaotic and otherworldly as David Banner gave way to the incredible Hulk.

"What the – ?!" said the mugger, losing his voice to sheer horror as the seven-foot-tall monster stared him down. With one arm, the Hulk lifted the would-be attacker and hurled him out into the street.

The mugger smashed into the windshield of a police car, bringing it to a screeching halt. The cop got out and said, "Buddy, what the Hell happened to you?"

Then, the Hulk stepped out of the alley, raised his muscular arms, and gave a mighty roar that got the attention of the whole block.

"Everyone, get back!" yelled the cop, drawing his gun, "Hey, you, freeze!" He aimed his gun at the Hulk, who looked at the cop quizzically.

The officer took a step forward and said, "Put your hands behind your head and lay down!" The Hulk simply frowned and began walking away.

"I said FREEZE!" screamed the cop, squeezing the trigger. The bullet hit the Hulk in the shoulder, but instead of going through, it crumpled up and bounced off, leaving only a bruise.

The Hulk roared with pain and turned on the cop, grabbing his gun and snapping it in two.

"Look, man, I'm sorry – " the cop started to say, but the Hulk shoved his hand into his chest, knocking the cop across the street.

With a final roar, the Hulk began to run, heading east toward Stars Hollow.

* * *

"David?" called Lorelai, knocking on the shed door, "David, are you here?" When she got no reply, she entered.

"I guess Dr. Frankenstein doesn't hold the patent on mad scientist anymore," she said, looking around.

"Lorelai, is that you?" called Dean from another room.

"Yeah Dean, it's me," she said.

Dean appeared, looking sweaty and tired. "David hired me to keep his lab in shape. I just finished untangling all of his wiring, which'll probably save him a couple hundred bucks on electricity."

"That is so weird," said Lorelai, "I wanted to talk to David about his electric bill. Where is he?"

Dean shrugged and said, "I don't know. He said he was going to Hartford for a while, but that was a while ago."

"And where did you learn about electrical wiring?" asked Lorelai.

Dean replied, "My grandfather's a carpenter. He owns a construction firm, and every summer, when me and my sisters would go visit him, he'd take me to work and teach me the trade. I learned all about building a house before I was 12."

"Wow. To think I hired Jess when I could've had you for free." Lorelai shook her head and started to walk out.

"Hey, Lorelai?" asked Dean. She turned to look at him.

"Rory would never cheat on me, right?" he asked, clearly uncomfortable with the subject.

"You're worried about her spending time with Jess," said Lorelai. Dean didn't say anything.

"Sweetie, Rory loves you," she said, putting a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder, "She and Jess are just friends. They may have similar interests, but that's nothing compared to what you guys have."

"You're right," said Dean, relieved, "I should trust Rory better."

"Thatta boy," said Lorelai, "Let's go down to Luke's; I'll buy you a cheeseburger."

"That would be great," said Dean. He shut off the lights, closed the door, and followed her out.

* * *

After about an hour of running, the Hulk reached the woods outside of Stars Hollow. He was barely even breathing hard. His healing factor accelerated his metabolism to at least six or seven times that of an ordinary human. Coupled with a physique that was no more than 1 percent fat, the Hulk's body eliminated the excessive buildup of fatigue-producing poisons in his muscles even faster than it could produce them.

Finally, the Hulk stopped and sat down on a rock. He picked up a mushroom and popped it into his mouth, spitting it out when he realized that it was no good. Slowly, as his anger subsided, his dim mind began to make sense of the world around him, in a process that echoed his burgeoning physical transformation. In less than a minute, he was once again David Banner.

"Ohh," groaned David as he stood up, "what happened?" He leaned against a tree for support, only then realizing that he was in a forest.

_Oh, no,_ he thought, _The mugger in the alley. I must have transformed into the creature!_ David shivered, and realized that, as was the norm when his changes occurred, he had nothing on but a pair of torn pants.

He looked to the tree, and saw that his hand was on moss, and thus facing North. Stars Hollow was east of Hartford. Thus, he had to go to the right to get back. He walked as fast as he could, trying to ignore the pain of walking barefoot through snow. Finally, he saw the inn.

David snuck around back, careful to avoid the kitchen entrance, as Sookie often worked late. He hurried up the stairs and into his room. He breathed a sigh of relief as he turned the lock.

"I've got to be more careful in the future," said David, "If I'm discovered before I can get my hands on the ISO-36, I may never get such a chance again."

* * *

Meanwhile, at the National Register's headquarters in Chicago, Illinois, Logan was working to put the paper's final edition, _The Bulldog_, to bed. Suddenly, his phone rang.

"Huntzberger," he said, answering it.

"_Mr. Huntzberger_," said the reporter on the other line, "_Have I got a story for you! Over here, on the east coast, a big green monster was just rampaging through Connecticut._"

"What?" asked Logan, "Jim, have you been drinking on the clock again?"

"_No, sir,_" insisted Jim, "_I got reports from almost a dozen eyewitnesses who will swear on their mothers' lives that they saw a huge, green man with big muscles and shaggy hair runnin' through the streets of Hartford._"

For a minute, Logan was totally speechless. Finally he managed to stutter, "D-Don't follow up on it, Jim. It's probably just another urban legend in the works." And he hung up.

"YES!" shouted Logan happily, jumping up and pumping his fist into the air. He couldn't believe his good luck: If his guess was correct, the Hulk was somewhere in or around Hartford, Connecticut! Quickly, he pulled out his cellphone and dialed McGee's number.

* * *

At the nursing home, McGee was sleeping soundly when his cell phone began ringing. Switching off his humidifier, he answered with, "Logan, this better be good. What? No. Are you sure? Yes! Keep the engine warm. I'll be right down. Don't worry, I can make it." Hanging up, he got himself dressed, attached his oxygen talk and cane to his wheelchair, and discreetly rolled out into the hallway.

He managed to evade security all the way to the first floor, but he was finally spotted by a nurse.

"And just where, pray tell, do you think you're going, Mr. McGee?" she asked sweetly.

"Out," he snarled, "I got a job to do."

"The only place you're going is back to bed," she said, pushing his wheelchair back toward the elevator. But just before they got on, McGee whipped out his cane and struck her in the forehead. While she was disoriented, he pushed his wheelchair at full speed toward the parking lot.

"Stop him!" shouted the nurse to a passing security guard.

But they were too late. McGee shot out the building like a bat out of Hell, over to the waiting van, and up the ramp into the back.

"Drive, Logan, drive!" he shouted as he closed the door. The van took off like a shot down the road, heading for the freeway.

"Man, is it good to be outta there," said McGee, breathing slowly and deeply from his oxygen, "get us to the airport, Logan. I wanna be on the next red-eye flight to Connecticut about ten minutes ago."

"You got it, Mr. McGee," said Logan, accelerating, "Let's go Hulk hunting."

* * *

_**(A/N: The plot thickens, but soon it shall be thicker. Please Review.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	6. Emotions Running High

_**(A/N: I realize that, since this takes place in season 2 of GG, Lorelai should be engaged to Max Medina. However, because I feel so compelled to have her date David (look at the show: for a scientist, he's a real ladies' man), let's just assume that Lorelai and Max didn't kiss at Chilton and instead decided to part on amicable terms. Also, I've decided to make Logan old enough to actually be working for his father and doing the various things here that even he wouldn't be doing at 16. Please Read & Review.)**_

* * *

**LaGuardia Airport, New York City, New York**

"Jack?" said Logan, gently shaking McGee's shoulder, "Jack? We're here."

The sleeping McGee slowly opened his sunken eyes and said, "Where are we, again?"

"LaGuardia," said Logan, "It's our last connection to Hartford."

They got off the plane quickly and headed for the next terminal. The flight was fairly short, and they were in Connecticut within hours. Jack tried to keep up with Logan as they ran to the baggage claim to get their luggage, but he found himself constantly distracted by a strange sensation in his brain.

_It's gotta be the Hulk_, thought McGee, leaning heavily on his cane, _I haven't felt this in years._ McGee was so distracted that he barely noticed when he walked straight into a woman.

"I'm terribly sorry," he said, helping her to her feet, "I hope you're not hurt – "

"You're lucky I'm not," said the woman with a voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard, "I suppose that wherever you're from, everyone just walks around without a care in the world, paying no mind to whomever might be in front of them!"

"Alright, look, lady," snapped McGee, but before he could finish that sentence, Logan came running up.

"I'm sorry about my grandfather," said Logan, quietly, "The dementia makes him a little cranky."

"Well," said the woman with a sigh, "I suppose that there's no harm done. Young man, do I know you from somewhere?"

It suddenly clicked in his mind that he was speaking to Emily Gilmore! He'd met her when her husband had done some legal work for his father. He figured that this probably wasn't the best situation to be caught in, so he lied.

"No, ma'am," he said with a shake of his head, "I don't think so."

Emily just shrugged and continued toward the exit.

"Why'd you lie to that woman, Huntzberger?" asked Jack when they got to their rented car a few minutes later, "I'd know a spark of recognition anyway, and you've met her before."

"Her name is Emily Gilmore," said Logan, "Her husband worked with my dad at some point, and we met at one of my mom's DAR functions."

"I hate those high-society types," said McGee, "I mean, who does she think she is, the Queen of Sheba? For two cents, I'd tell her to – "

"Easy, Jack," said Logan, "I don't want to have to take you to the hospital when we've been in the state for only about five minutes."

McGee grumbled something along the lines of "Wake me when we get to Hartford" and closed his eyes, falling asleep soon after.

* * *

**Stars Hollow High, Stars Hollow, Connecticut**

_Just ten more minutes,_ thought Dean. Normally, Shop, his last class of the day, was his favorite, but today was really tiring, and all he wanted to do was go home and sleep.

"Look alive, Forrester!" shouted the teacher, Mr. Leonard, from across the room. Dean shook his head and went back to focusing on the dartboard he was making. When it was finished, the teacher came over to inspect it.

"Hmm . . . You cut the wood a little crooked here, here, and here," he said, pointing out the areas, "Nice job, but you'll have to do better if you wanna be a finish carpenter, Forrester."

"Yes, sir," said Dean.

Leonard grunted and said to the class, "Listen up! I'm tired of dealin' with you, so just leave early." The class cheered, put away their safety gear, and dashed out the door.

When Dean got outside, he was surprised to see Rory waiting for him.

"Rory!" he said, walking up to her, "Aren't you supposed to still be at Chilton?"

"It was a half-day," she replied, "so I thought I'd come by and surprise you."

"I hate surprises, Rory," said Dean, smiling rakishly.

"I'm so sorry," said Rory, pursing her lips into a sexy pout that made Dean go weak in the knees.

Without further ado, they sat down under a nearby tree and began to make out. After about five minutes, they came up for air.

"Where did you learn to do that?" asked a slightly panting Rory, feeling unseasonably warm.

"What?" asked Dean, confused.

"That thing where you inhaled when our lips were just about to touch. It literally took my breath away."

Dean shrugged and said, "Just a happy accident, I guess."

They sat there for a while until Dean said, "My parents are goin' out tonight, and Clara's sleeping over at a friend's. You wanna, maybe, come over and hang out?"

Rory kissed him again and said, "Will there be more of this?"

"There will be more of this," said Dean, a little too excitedly.

"Then I'll be there," said Rory.

She checked her watch and said, "I have to go now, Dean. I promised Jess I'd help him study."

Dean nodded and said, "I have to get to work. See you tonight."

"Okay, baby," she said, kissing him on the check.

* * *

Rory walked into Luke's a half-hour later, surprised to find that a radio was on and was playing music for the whole diner.

"What's this?" she asked Jess, who was standing behind the counter.

"Bob Seger's _Night Moves_," said Jess, "but the worst is about to come."

Rory was about to ask what he was talking about, but she was cut off by the sound of someone singing along to the radio, and not very well at that.

"_Workin' on our Night Moves_," sang Luke to him as he brought a couple their food, "_Tryin' to make some front-page drive-in news_ . . ."

Jess gestured with his head that they should go upstairs, and Rory followed eagerly.

"That was, bar none, the scariest thing I've ever seen," said Rory when Jess shut the door.

"I think I preferred it when he was yelling at me," said Jess.

"Anyway, we have to get to work," said Rory, clearing off a table for their books.

Jess sat down next to her and said, "You finish Sexus yet?"

"Yeah," she said, taking it out of her bag, "At first, I was a little weirded out, 'cause I've never read anything that . . . licentious."

"I felt that way when I first read it," said Jess.

"It wasn't just that, though," said Rory more quietly, "I **liked** it. The way it made me feel so . . ."

"Hot?" guessed Jess, moving closer to her.

Rory nodded and said, "I've never been turned on by a book before." A second later, Jess' lips captured Rory's in a searing kiss. They moved to the couch when suddenly Rory jumped up.

"We can't do this!" she yelled, and quickly ran over to the table to gather her things.

"Why not?" said Jess, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"I have a BOYFRIEND," she said, more to herself than to Jess, and shoved his hands away. But Jess stood in front of the door to keep her from leaving.

"Dean doesn't deserve you," snapped Jess, "He's a moron. He doesn't know a damn thing about fine art, or literature, or anything but physical labor! He doesn't understand you like I do!"

"You don't!" said Rory, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, "You don't know me AT ALL, and you don't know Dean! How **dare** you judge him?! Dean is kind, understanding, and sweet. He loves me in spite of all our difference, he never tries to change me, he's never pressured me to have sex, AND he had the courage to stand up to my grandfather and offer to shake his hand."

Rory's speech had gotten so intense that Jess actually backed away from her.

"But you, Jess?" said Rory, "You're just a thug. A well-read, intelligent thug. And I don't ever want to talk to you again."

And she stormed out and never looked back.

* * *

_**(A/N: Real action IS coming, I swear. But in the meantime, I really would like it if you guys would not just say how much you enjoy the story. I really do want criticism, because I can't get better if all you do is praise me. So feel free to tell me how I can improve. Please Review.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	7. Physician, Scientist, Ladies' Man

_**(A/N: The long awaited chapter 7. And yes, I will update TNAOSH soon. Please Read and Review.)**_

**Dedication:** I dedicate this chapter to PiratelfDair, without whom I wouldn't have been able to write this chapter at all. Thanks.

* * *

"Okay," said Lorelai quietly, "the moment of truth: Should I ask David out on a date?" And she carefully shook her Magic 8-Ball.

_**Ask again later.**_

"What?" asked Lorelai incredulously, "I haven't asked you a question since the great pink stripe/green stripe hair conundrum of '98! I left you alone, I let you rest, I let you chill. And now when I need you I get, 'Ask again later?' I saved you from garage sales and charity drives for 'Ask again later?' I don't think so, buddy!"

_**Concentrate and ask again.**_

"I WAS concentrating!" yelled Lorelai, "I was totally NOT wondering what kind of liquid this is in you. I mean, is it water? Is it oil? Is it ink? Is it – okay, right, good point. Concentrate . . . and shake!"

_**Better not tell you now.**_

"I swear to God, you're in league with my mother," grumbled Lorelai, putting it away and getting back to her paperwork. Suddenly, the phone rang.

"Hello, Independence Inn," said Lorelai.

_Lorelai, hello,_ said Emily's cheerful voice.

"Whoa, speak of the devil," said Lorelai to herself.

_I just wanted to call and see what you were wearing to the benefit at the University._

"I'm not wearing anything to the benefit at the University."

_It is not clothing-optional, Lorelai!_

"Well, is it Lorelai-optional? Because I have no idea what you're talking about."

_You most certainly do! The charity benefit your father and I are hosting at Hartford University, on the 11__th__!_

"Sorry, no. Are you sure you told me about it?"

_Of course I'm sure! Remember, your father was telling you about the cure for radiation poisoning, ISO-36? For heaven's sake, it was in the society pages!_

"The society pages? Are you serious?"

_Well, it doesn't matter, Lorelai. You will be there._

"Mom, I don't know if I can – "

_Lorelai, you WILL be there, and you WILL be escorted by a man who is AT LEAST semi-decent!_

The phone hung up with a loud click. Lorelai set the receiver down, muttered several things she would never say in front of Rory, and picked up her papers to take them to the filing room. But just as she crossed the lobby, her heel got caught on the rug. Just before she fell, a pair of strong arms caught her.

"Are you alright?" asked David, her savior.

"Oh my god, thank you! That rug's been gunning for me all morning," said Lorelai, picking up the papers she'd dropped.

"Well, you know what they say about Persian carpets," said David, bending down to help her.

"Actually, David, I'm glad I bumped into you," said Lorelai, twirling her hair nervously, "I didn't mean to do it literally, but still. Um, I was wondering if you were free to come to dinner with me? My parents are throwing this thing, and while I can't vouch for the company, the food should be good."

David smiled wistfully and said, "Lorelai, normally I'd be delighted to go out with you. But I'm having some new equipment brought to the lab and could take weeks to set it up. I'm truly sorry."

"Oh, well, that's okay," said Lorelai, trying to hide her disappointment, "Maybe some other time. The guest of honor is a drug, so who knows where the evening will end? I'd hate for you to end up in the drunk tank with me, my parents, and ISO-36."

David stopped dead in his tracks. He turned and said, "YOUR parents are throwing the benefit where they'll display the cure for radiation cancer?"

"Yeah," said Lorelai, "There aren't exactly that many Gilmores in the world. Well, there are a lot of people like them, but not many are actually named Gilmore. I guess Happy Gilmore counts, but he's just a character in a movie so really – "

"I'd love to go," said David, breaking into Lorelai's babbling.

"Really?" she said, hopeful.

"I've been working too hard, lately," said David, "I could use some time off. And frankly, I can't imagine a better person to enjoy it with."

Lorelai blushed and said, "Okay. I'll pick you up at eight on the 11th."

"It's a date," said David. Lorelai watched as he walked away, her insides doing a happy little jig.

* * *

**Later that Night**

_Ding-Dong_

Dean got up from the couch, turned down the radio, and went to the door.

"Rory, hey," he said, letting his girlfriend in.

"Sorry I'm late," said Rory, leaving her shoes by the door.

"It's fine," said Dean, wrapping his arms around her from behind, "Anticipation makes the appetite grow stronger."

_Oh, God,_ thought Rory as Dean began to slowly kiss her neck, _That feels so good._ But she quickly remembered what she had to say.

"Dean," she said, almost stuttering, "stop it for a second. We have to talk."

Dean stopped. Rory turned to face him and said, "Dean, I did something today that I'm not proud of. I just want you to remember that you love me, and hold onto that thought for a minute."

"Rory, what happened?" said Dean, concern rising in his voice.

She took a deep breath and said, "I let Jess kiss me, today."

"HE KISSED YOU?!" shouted Dean, sounding more outraged than angry.

"We were sort of having a moment," said Rory, her eyes falling.

"I'LL KILL HIM!" Dean roared, grabbing his jacket and heading for the door.

"Dean, no!" said Rory, grabbing his arm, "Please, don't stoop to his level."

"He kissed you," said Dean to himself, fuming. Nonetheless, he put down his jacket and went back into the living room.

"I am so sorry," said Rory, cupping his face to look at her, "You were right about Jess the whole time. He's a complete ass who thinks that just because he's more well-read than you that he's smarter and a better person."

"I understand, Rory," said Dean, "I know how smart he is, and how he knows about all those books you like, and that stuff that I just can't get into. It's not your fault you find him attractive."

The look of pain on Dean's face was more than Rory could bare, so she marched over to his bookcase and, after a little digging to get through all of the Louis L'Amour novels, laid several books on coffee table in front of them.

"Look at these Dean," she said tenderly, "_Essential Writings of Thomas Paine_, _The Plays of Molière_, _American Gods_ by Neil Gaiman, all of them! I'd hardly call you a literary slouch."

"I didn't even get interested in books like that until we started dating," said Dean.

"But you like them, right?" asked Rory.

Dean nodded.

Rory walked over and hugged him tightly and said, "Dean, I love you. And I swear, I won't ever let Jess come between us."

"I know," he said, "And I'll try to be more secure in the future."

"What do you mean?"

"I love you too, Rory," said Dean, "I never really loved any girl before I met you. Remember the night we finalized the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing?"

Rory smiled and nodded. How could she forget?

"Ever since then," said Dean, "I've felt . . . better. It's like there was a hole in my soul that you filled when I realized that you loved me back. Every guy that I saw after that moment was a potential threat, and it really scared me when you started being friends with him."

Rory sat down next to Dean on the couch.

"I'm sorry I made you afraid of losing me," said Rory, placing head and hand on his chest, "I love you, Dean Samuel Forrester."

"I love you too, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore," replied Dean.

"You're my ace-in-the-hole now, honey," she said, "and I'm your lady luck."

"You know I hate Faith Hill," said Dean, smiling at the song quote. They then sat back to watch movies, holding each other softly.

* * *

_**(A/N: I hate that I have to bring such happy fluffiness to a halt, but in the great tradition of "The Incredible Hulk," all must eventually go straight to Hell. Please Review, and don't be afraid to really Critique.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	8. The Fight and the Flight

_**(A/N: First of all, I am SO sorry that it's taken me so long. I swear, the update for TNAOSH will soon follow. Please Read & Review.)**_

* * *

"What the Hell are you doing in here?" snapped Dean. He entered David's shed to see Jess, apparently snooping around.

"Just wondering what keeps causing all those electrical surges," said Jess, mockingly innocent, "What's Dr. Frankenstein cookin' up in here, anywhere?"

"It's Dr. Benson," said Dean, "And, you shouldn't be in here in the first place. David's lab is private."

"You're in here," noted Jess.

"I'm his ASSISTANT," said Dean, frowning, "Now get out."

"Lorelai hired me to do maintenance, Lurch" said Jess, "I'm just doing my job."

"I bet," spat Dean, advancing on Jess. The image of Jess and Rory embraced in a deep kiss was running rampant through his mind

"You seem just a little bent out of shape," said Jess, "Upset that you haven't mastered walking upright and using your thumbs?"

"You kissed Rory," snarled Dean, slamming his hand down on a table.

"Is it my fault your girlfriend's dissatisfied with you?" said Jess, "I was doing her a favor."

That did it. Dean threw a right-cross that smashed against Jess's jaw and pushed him against the gamma knife. Jess kneed Dean in the stomach and pushed him off.

"I've been wanting to do this for a long time!" yelled Jess. He rushed Dean and pushed him across a table, sending test tubes and beakers flying.

"Not as long as I have," said Dean, straightening himself. He crouched into a boxer's guard position and threw a straight punch to Jess's midsection, expecting him to drop his defenses. Instead, Jess sidestepped the blow and threw a left hook to Dean's temple.

Dean's head slammed against a metal apparatus, disorientating him. Jess went on the offensive, grabbing the larger boy by the throat and viciously punching him in the stomach.

Suddenly, Jess stopped. A large humming noise filled Dean's ears, and then he knew only darkness.

* * *

**Hilton Hotel, Hartford**

"Jack!" called Logan, entering their hotel room. McGee sat at a desk, studying a map of Connecticut.

"What did you find out from the police?" asked McGee, not looking up.

"Not much," said Logan, "The officer that encountered the Hulk wasn't eager to talk, but after I slipped him a hundred (and few sips from my flask of bourbon), he gave me a description: About seven feet tall; 330 lbs.; green skin; shaggy green hair; and, white eyes."

"That's the Hulk, alright," said McGee, drawing with a compass, "What about the man the Hulk attacked? Did you find out what hospital he's at?"

"Yeah," said Logan, "but he has a major concussion and two separated shoulders. I couldn't get anything out of him."

"Damn." McGee stood up and stretched his back. "Did you at least find out which way he headed?"

"The cop said East," said Logan, "but that was at least two days, and the way that thing was haulin' keister, it could be on the other side of the state by now."

"Doubt it," said McGee, going back to the map, "After it calms down, the Hulk will change back to John Doe. I know how he thinks; he'll want to stay in either a small, out of the way town where few people are likely to know about the Hulk, or a very large city where he could easily lose himself among a large number of people. Since Hartford is the only such large city within about 100 square miles, the former sort seems a safer bet."

McGee held up a piece of paper with mathematical formulae on it. "Given what I believe is the Hulk's approximate running speed, I've narrowed it down to the three most likely towns: Woodbury, New Haven, and Stars Hollow."

McGee got up and started packing his bags, and threw Logan's at him. "Jack, what are you doing?" asked Logan.

"We have to move fast," replied McGee, "John Doe is a desperate man, and years of me chasing him have made him crafty. But this time, he doesn't know we're onto him, so we have a small window in which we can catch him with his pants down. But said window is shrinking rapidly and we have to search all three towns. So move, Huntzberger!"

* * *

_**(A/N: Sorry for the shortness. Next one will be longer, and here much sooner. Please Review.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	9. The Calm

_**(A/N: I promise, the REAL action is coming, just hold out a little longer. Please Read & Review.)**_

* * *

Meanwhile, David was in the kitchen, regaling Sookie and Lorelai with tales of his life, though failing to mention that most of them occurred more than 30 years ago.

"So, you're trapped on a private island in the Florida keys by a psychotic millionaire who hunts people," said Lorelai, "How did you escape?"

"I set a trap for him," said David, "He tripped and impaled himself on his own poisoned arrow." This was, of course, a lie. In reality, David had transformed into the Hulk and throw a rock at him, causing the hunter to lose his balance and fall into a rocky gorge.

"How'd you get back?" asked Sookie.

"There was a rowboat attached to his dock," said David, "The current was strong, but I was back in Florida by morning."

Suddenly, a flash of brilliant green light appeared in the windows of the shed.

"Oh my God," said David, "Dean is in there!"

He, Sookie, and Lorelai all ran out to his lab and carefully opened the door. Nothing seemed damaged, but his gamma knife was humming with activity, and both Dean and Jess were laying on the floor, and Dean with a smoldering jacket.

David ran over to the gamma knife and switched it off. "Lorelai, see if they're still breathing," he said, "Sookie, go into that cabinet over there and bring out the dark green bottle."

"They're waking up," said Lorelai.

Dean was the first to sit up. He rubbed his head and said, "Ugh . . . What happened?"

"That's precisely what I want to know," said David, kneeling down next to the boys, "How did my gamma ray emitter end up getting turned on?"

"I, I don't know," said Dean, "I hit my head on something . . ."

"He tripped," said Jess, "He tripped, shoved me, and the thing zapped us."

"In that case, I'll need you both to drink this," said David, handing Jess the bottle, "Only a sip is necessary, but I recommend more."

Jess sipped from the bottle hesitantly. The liquid was pungent, and evaporated on his tongue like brandy (though it didn't taste like it was alcoholic).

"What did I just drink?" asked Jess, passing the bottle to Dean.

"An herbal cleanser," said David, helping them both up, "at the levels you were exposed to, the radiation will cause your immune system to take a hit for a while. I'd recommend at least a week of bed rest and lots of vitamin C. I'll come by and check on you in the morning. If you need them, I can prescribe some medications."

"Got anything for my back?" said Dean, touching it gingerly.

"Lorelai, you should probably take Jess home," said David, "I need to check Dean for burns and concussion."

* * *

The next morning, David stopped by Luke's Diner to see how Jess was doing. As soon as he entered, however, Luke marched over to him.

"Okay," he said, "what the Hell did you do to my nephew?"

"What do you mean?" asked David.

"I mean that yesterday I sent Jess over to the inn," said Luke, "and you sent back Lance Armstrong!"

"What?" said David, now really not understanding.

Luke grabbed his arm and pulled up him up the stairs. When they got to his apartment, David saw Jess, sitting on the floor, doing bicycle crunches like a man possessed.

"I thought radiation was supposed to make you sick," said Luke.

"It is," said David, "Jess, how do you feel?"

"Great," said Jess, jumping up, "I don't know I got hit with back there, but any chance I could get another dose?"

David laughed in spite of himself and said, "Sorry Jess, but it doesn't do to tempt fate too often."

David took a blood sample for further analysis and hurried back to his lab. _Oh, Lord,_ he thought the whole way, _Please don't let this be what I fear it is._

* * *

**The Forrester House**

That same morning, Rory was on her way to visit Dean. Knocking on the door, she was admitted by Dean's mother, Barbara.

"Hello, Rory," she answered cheerfully.

"Hi, Mrs. Forrester," she replied, "How's Dean doing?"

"Not too good, I'm afraid," said Mrs. Forrester, "He threw up last night, and he has a slight fever."

"Can I go up and see him?" asked Rory.

"Well, I suppose," said Barbara, "but not for too long. And don't disturb him if he's not awake. That nice Dr. Benson came over this morning and gave him something to help him sleep."

Rory headed up the stairs to Dean's room, surprised by how quiet it was. At this hour, Dean's stereo was usually playing something by BB Chung King & The Buddaheads, and the room seemed out of place without the sound of melodic blues rock.

"Dean?" she said gently as she pushed the door open.

"Rory," he said weakly from the bed, "What're you doin' here?"

"I came to see how you were doing," she said, sitting at the foot of his bed.

"Not too good," said Dean. Rory believed it; he was white as a sheet and sounded as weak as a newborn kitten.

"Did David say how long you'll be laid up?"

Dean nodded and said, "A couple days. Maybe a week."

"Ah, my poor baby," said Rory, leaning down to kiss him. It was then that she noticed a bandage on his arm.

"David took a blood sample," said Dean, rolling over, "said he needed to check for infection."

"You get some sleep," said Rory, pulling his blanket up to his chin, "I'll come and visit you again tomorrow."

"Yes, dear," said Dean, closing his eyes. Rory kissed him once more and left.

* * *

Back in his lab, David placed Dean and Jess's blood samples onto a scanner that fed them into the computer.

_Testing for mutagenic susceptibility_ flashed across his computer screen as he sighed deeply.

"Something terrible has happened," said David into his dictation recorder, "Two boys have been exposed to a level of gamma radiation that may equal or even exceed the dosage which transformed me into the Hulk. I suspect that the Jess Mariano, henceforth referred to as Potential Gamma Mutate, or PGM1, has lied about how he and Dean Forrester, PGM2, came to be exposed, but it is irrelevant. While it is unlikely that either individual possesses the same degree of propensity to gamma mutation that I have, I am deeply unnerved by this occurrence. My only option is to leave, as soon as I have procured a sample of ISO-36."

David paused for a second, then continued. "Even if the PGMs have not undergone gamma mutation, blood poisoning is still possible. I did not wish to cause any undue alarm, but it is possible that both were exposed my microwave amplification machine, burns from which could easily lead to infection. I pray that this should be the worst of their troubles. Entry concluded."

David then locked up the lab and went to his room. Before he laid down to sleep, he prayed to whatever god was listening that he hadn't ruined two more lives as he had ruined his own.

* * *

_**(A/N: Sorry if it's a little . . . well, crappy, but I'm kind of in a rush. I have to hurry to finish some other things because I'm going on a road trip 'cross the country in a few days. Please Review.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	10. The Storm

_****_

(A/N: Yes, I've been back for a while, now. Yes, I should've updated sooner. Yes, Stars Hollow suffers from quantum mechanical anomalies that cause time to move at an unfixed rate, thus explaining any time discrepancies in my story. Any more questions? Please Read & Review.)

* * *

The night of the charity benefit had come. David took a last look at himself in the mirror, making sure that his tuxedo was flawless. He could not afford to stand out, especially not tonight. His tie was straight; his cummerbund fit perfectly; his dinner jacket was the perfect shade of black; and his boutonnière was fresh and colorful. He was ready.

_I haven't worn this tux since Laura's and my wedding,_ thought David, wistfully. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and went down to the lobby to meet Lorelai.

"Wow," said Lorelai when she saw him, "Shouldn't you be standing in a Dior window display?"

"Well yes," said David, "but I jumped out when they weren't looking. You look very lovely, yourself." And he meant it; Lorelai was wearing a dark blue, strapless evening gown, accentuated with a gold necklace. Her hair was tied into a chignon.

Lorelai glanced at the clock and said, "It should be here right about . . ."

A horn honked.

" . . . now," said Lorelai, "My parents sent their limousine."

"Well then," said David, holding out his arm, "Let's be off, shall we?"

"Let's," said Lorelai, taking his arm and walking out the door.

Meanwhile, there was a big hockey game taking place at Stars Hollow High, and Dean felt well enough to go. It had been more than a week since he got zapped by the gamma knife, and he was still weak.

"Dean," said Rory as she helped him into her car, "Maybe you shouldn't go."

"No way," said Dean, "I missed two games and five practice sessions. If I don't at least show up for the semifinals, coach is gonna kick me off the team."

After a few more minutes of trying to convince Dean that he should stay home, Rory gave in and they went to the game together.

* * *

**Hartford University**

"Okay, David, let's go over the game plan," said Lorelai as the limo neared the University, "Someone comes up, I'll take a drink. My mouth will be full. I can't talk. How would that look, right? Then you jump in, offer your hand. 'Hi, David Benson. And you are?' 'I'm Mr. Blockenfeffer.' By then, I will have swallowed. 'Oh hi, Mr. Blockenfeffer, I'm Lorelai, remember me?' 'The bane of your mother's existence?' 'Exactly. Nice to see you again.' 'Nice to see you again. And nice to meet you, David.' 'Nice to meet you, Mr. Blockenfeffer.' 'You kids have a lovely evening.' 'No, you have a lovely evening. Our love to Mrs. Blockenfeffer.'"

David just laughed and said, "Are your parents' socials really that bad?"

"You have NO idea," she replied, rolling her eyes in a childish way. David truly found Lorelai's offbeat ways quite endearing, and finally agreed to play along.

Once they were inside, Lorelai lead David straight to the bar, so she could put "the plan" into action. She ordered a champagne cocktail, and David had a Hip and Hen over ice.

"Lorelai!" said a pleasant sounding female voice from a few feet away.

"Get ready," Lorelai whispered to David.

"Mom, Dad," she said, turning to greet them.

"Wonderful to see you, Lorelai," said Richard, "And I don't believe we've met."

"David Benson," said David, shaking his hand firmly but gently.

"David is a doctor that's been staying at the Inn," said Lorelai.

"A doctor?" said Emily, "What sort of doctor?"

"I was an emergency physician for almost 15 years," said David, "and I helped out in the pharmacology lab from time to time, but now my main focus is nuclear medicine."

"Well, you picked a good place to be," said Richard, "I don't understand some of the finer points, but I'm told that this ISO-36 is truly a miracle drug."

"It is, if it can do what they say it can do," replied David, "A former patient of mine was once exposed to very high levels of gamma radiation, causing him to develop a genetic disease. I'm curious as to whether or not this would have saved him."

David stared at the small glass box in the middle of the room, containing three vials of green liquid.

* * *

**Stars Hollow High**

The game was nine to seven, with the Stars Hollow Minutemen in the lead. Rory had discovered, to her immense delight, that she loved stadium food. Dean tried to cheer on his team, but he kept coughing whenever he tried.

"Dean," said Rory, after his third bout of coughing subsided, "You sound terrible. I think we should go home."

"No way," said Dean, trying to sit up straight, "I'm fine, Rory."

"Dean, you are not fine," said Rory, "You're lucky to even be walking after what happened."

Dean sighed. He knew Rory was right. "Okay," he said, "Just let me go get something out of my locker."

"I'll go warm up the car," said Rory, kissing him on the cheek.

* * *

**Hartford University**

"So, Dr. Benson," said Emily, "How long to plan on staying in the area?"

David was about to reply, when suddenly the doors were thrown open and several men with guns and wearing pantyhose on their heads charged in.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," roared the leader of the group, "this is an old-fashioned, low-tech stickup. We're interested in the basics: Cash, jewelry, cellular telephones, etc. Surrender your valuables nice and quietly, and no one will be hurt."

David hurried the Gilmores under a nearby table and said, "Don't move, I'm going to call the police."

"David, wait," said Lorelai as he ran off. She attempted to follow, but Richard and Emily held her back.

Tense minutes went by, and suddenly the robbers left, as quickly as they came. The Gilmores got out from under the table.

"David!" called Lorelai, looking around the room for him, "David!"

"I'm all right," said David, coming up to her, "I was trying to get to a payphone, and I got knocked down."

"This is disgraceful," said Richard angrily, "I will sue that security firm for every dime they have. They were supposed to be protecting us!"

Emily followed him as he continued to bluster and rage, and shared in his indignation when one of the three vials was discovered to be missing.

* * *

**Stars Hollow High**

Dean walked through the hallways until he finally reached his locker. He stopped once to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

_Jeez,_ he thought bitterly, _I really am still sick. Least it can't get any worse._

"Hey there, Dean," said a friendly voice from the other end of the hall. Dean looked up and saw, partially hidden in shadow, Jess.

"What do you want, Jess?" asked Dean, doing his best to sound normal.

"Just takin' a walk through the hall of good old Stars Hollow High," said Jess, "What's the matter, Dean? A little sick?"

"None of your damn business, Jess," said Dean.

"Let's see if we can improve your attitude," said Jess. Without further warning, he punched Dean hard in the stomach. Dean crumpled to the floor.

"You - you," hissed Dean, the wind knocked out of him.

"Yep," said Jess, "me. Ever since I got that little shock back in Benson's lab, I've never felt better." He punched Dean again.

"And by the way, stock boy," said Jess, "I was the one ripping off Taylor's store." To emphasize his point, he took out Taylor's key and threw it at Dean's feet.

"You son of a bitch," said Dean, clenching his teeth. In all his life, he'd never felt such intense hatred, or such anger as he did now at Jess.

Jess was about throw another punch, but Dean's hand shot up and shoved him back.

"Good, you've got some fight left in you," said Jess, standing. But he stopped when he saw Dean's eyes. They were orange and glowing.

* * *

**On the way back to Stars Hollow**

Once the mess had been cleared, the party had resumed, and David and Lorelai continued to enjoy their evening.

Perhaps it was due to relief of being unharmed, but both David and Lorelai had drunk far more than they'd originally intended. Lorelai was currently sampling from the mini-bar in the limousine.

"This was a GREAT evening," she said, drunkenly laying her head on David's shoulder.

"I would have to agree with you," said David. If not for his unusual precision and enunciation, one would never even know that he was drunk himself.

A funny thought occurred to David as the limousine dropped them off at Lorelai's house: Lorelai reminded him of his first wife, Laura, in terms of her quirkiness and optimism, and of his second wife, Carolyn, in the way her cheeks reddened when she giggled. Of course, neither woman had such magnificent breasts . . .

"You want some coffee?" asked Lorelai as she stumbled toward the kitchen.

"Sure," said David. He stared at her swaying hips as though nothing she could offer him would as toothsome a morsel as herself. With a grin, almost a leer, he followed her into the kitchen.

"I'm a little too drunk to make it from scratch," she said, digging through the fridge, "but Rory bought some of that frozen stuff the other day."

"Wonderful," said David.

Lorelai dropped one of the glass bottles.

"Let me help you clean that up," said David, kneeling down next to her. They both looked into each other's eyes, as though only just aware that the other was there.

* * *

**Stars Hollow High**

Jess watched with horror as Dean begin to change before his very eyes. His muscles grew exponentially; he gained over a foot in height; his hair became long, black, and shaggy; and his skin took on a vividly red hue. When this was done, only his black jeans remained on his massive body. A Red Hulk.

"Mother of God," whispered Jess, now shaking in fear.

"_Rrrrrr_," growled the beast that was Dean.

"Dean," said Jess, his voice trembling, "Can you understand me?"

The Red Hulk roared and grabbed Jess by the collar. With a hateful snarled, it hurled him against the lockers, knocking Jess out instantly.

Staring at his fallen foe one last time, the Red Hulk began to run, going through the school's stone wall as if it were paper, heading toward the forest.

* * *

_**(A/N: A little rushed? Maybe, but I like it. The Red Hulk is played by WWE star Dalip Singh Rana. Please Review. Bonus points for whomever can identify the extremely cruel irony I snuck into one of the "Hartford" sections.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	11. The Revelation

_**(A/N: Now things will start to REALLY get hairy. Please Read & Review.)**_

* * *

**Stars Hollow**

"_Wow_," said Lorelai, laying her head on David's chest. The two basked in the post-orgasmic haze that followed intense lovemaking.

"I've been celibate for quite some time," said David, "My father always told me, 'David, if you can't get a girl to do it for you, you do without.'"

"You must've been without for a long time," said Lorelai, running her finger along his chin.

"Years," said David, staring at the ceiling.

Lorelai's cellphone began to play the theme from "Close Encounters of the Third Kind." That meant Rory. With great effort, she untangled herself from David and went over to her dresser to grab it.

_Rory?_

_**Mom, it's horrible!**_

_What happened?_

_**Dean's gone, there was a red monster in the parking lot, and Jess went to the hospital**__!_

_Babe, you're gonna have to slow down. You're not making sense._

_**Dean went to his locker to get something, and he never came back. I went looking for him, but when I got to his locker there was a huge hole in the wall, Jess was lying nearby with a huge cut on his head, and I saw this huge . . . thing with red skin running through the parking lot into the woods!**_

_I'm gonna come and get you, okay? Just stay right there._

Lorelai hung up and hurriedly put on her clothes.

"Lorelai, what's wrong?" asked David, getting out of bed.

"Something happened at Rory's school," said Lorelai, "she's freaking out and Dean's missing."

David hurried into his own clothes and followed her to her jeep.

* * *

**Hartford**

Meanwhile, Richard and Emily were driving home after wrapping things up at the party.

"The sheer nerve of that security guard," grumbled Richard, "Claiming that his team was only full-alert. If they were on full-alert, the guests wouldn't have been robbed!"

"It's unconscionable," agreed Emily, "What, do they hire hobos off the street and ignore real applicants?"

Richard grunted again and said, "Wouldn't surprise me one little bit. I swear, when I get off the phone with our lawyer – "

"RICHARD, LOOK OUT!"

Emily's scream forced Richard to look back at the road, and he realized they were about to run smack-dab into a giant red man. Richard turned the wheel hard, managing to avoid the creature, but causing their car to flip over, landing them upside down on the side of the road.

"Emily, are you all right?" asked Richard, frantically trying to push away his air-bag.

"I'm fine," said Emily, "but my door is stuck."

"What in the world was that thing?" asked Richard.

"I don't know," said Emily, "but it's coming this way!"

Emily was right. The red beast, with its glowing eyes, slowly stalked over to the car. Emily began to scream in fright, but stopped when the creature just flipped the car over. It then pulled off Emily's door with no more effort than she'd have used to tear a piece of paper.

"Thank you," said Emily, hesitantly. The creature didn't respond, just stared at her, as if it was trying to recognize her.

"Can you speak?" said Richard, putting his arm around Emily.

The red monster just growled slightly, and then began to sway. A faint reddish glow appeared around its face, and it began to . . . change.

"My god," said Richard, observing the metamorphosis.

"Dean?" asked Emily, looking at the boy standing before her.

"Uuhhh," groaned Dean, rubbing his head, "Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore? What am I doing here?" Dean suddenly fell forward, unconscious. Richard rushed up and caught him.

"What do we do?" he asked Emily.

"Call Lorelai," said Emily.

* * *

The Gilmore house wasn't far from the crash, so Richard and Emily were able to carry Dean the whole way. They laid him on a couch and sent the maid away for the night.

Within minutes, Lorelai, David, and Rory were there.

"It was unbelievable!" said Emily in the other room, "He was this tall, muscular, half-naked monster! Did I mention that he was RED?"

"Only about 17 times, Mom," said Lorelai.

"How can you make jokes at a time like this?!" said Richard.

"Can we please focus on the issue?" said Rory, "What happened to him?"

"I happened," said David quietly.

"What?" said Lorelai.

"This my fault," said David.

"What do you mean, Benson?" said Richard.

"My name isn't David Benson," said David, swallowing hard, "It's David Banner."

David spent the next few minutes telling them everything. How he became the Hulk, how he'd spent the last 30 years on the run, and how Dean must've been mutated by the gamma knife.

"So why is Dean red?" asked Rory.

David just shrugged and said, "It's possible that simultaneous exposure to both the gamma knife and my maser caused him even further mutation. I also analyzed his blood, and his gamma ray sensitivity was even greater than mine."

"There has to be some way to help him," said Lorelai.

"The ISO-36," said David, "it cures gamma poisoning. It's the most plausible cure I've encountered in years."

"But the serum's been taken back to the original laboratory by now," said Emily.

"Not all of it," said David, smiling slightly. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a green vial of ISO-36.

* * *

**Hours Earlier**

_David took a steadying breath. He was not ready for this. _For God's sake,_ he thought to himself,_ the worst crime I've committed in 30 years is vagrancy!

_But he knew what had to be done. Steeling himself, he walked down the alley, waiting to be noticed._

"_Hey, old man," said a voice from the shadows, "Whatcho' doin' in our territory?"_

"_I have a proposition for you young men," said David, "something that could make you a great deal of money."_

"_We're listenin'," said another voice._

"_I just need you to show up at Hartford University tonight, raise as much Hell as you can, and get out. I'm willing to pay you 25,000 dollars to do this."_

"_You got yourself a deal," said the head thug, shaking David's hand._

* * *

"Where did you get 25,000 dollars in cash?" asked Lorelai.

"I have a friend who works for the IRS," said David, "He skims money off the tops of extremely large bank accounts and deposits the funds in an Austrian bank. I can access this money anywhere in the world at any time, no questions asked."

"Will this stuff cure Dean?" asked Rory, holding the vial.

"I'm almost certain," said David, "Its unstable molecular structure requires that it be treated with the subject's DNA and injected. The bonding process takes less than a day. Admittedly, it wasn't designed for cases like Dean's and mine, but there's no reason why it CAN'T work. And if it does, we'll both be cured."

"It's nice to hear some good news this week," said a voice from behind them. Everyone turned to see Dean, wearing only ragged jeans, standing in the doorway.

"Dean!" said Rory, rushing over to hug him.

"I'll take him home," said David, removing his jacket and putting it around Dean's shoulders, "We need to talk."

* * *

Minutes later, David and Dean were driving back toward Stars Hollow in Lorelai's jeep.

"So," said Dean after a quarter of an hour's silence, "it is always like that? Does it always feel like liquid fire is coursing through your body, like your skin is so tight you just want to scratch it off, like somebody dumped a liter of acid into your brain?"

David nodded. "I wish I could tell you that it gets easier over time," said David, "But it's always painful. Once, I was given a massive overdose of morphine sulfide, and it didn't dull the pain at all when I changed."

"How do you do it, David?" asked Dean, voice cracking, "How do you LIVE, knowing that you've got a monster inside you and you can't do anything to stop it when it starts coming out?"

"It isn't easy," said David, "It's been almost 32 years since I've truly been able to call any place 'home,' and almost 28 since I've seen any of my family. My sister is dying in a nursing home in Nebraska, and my goddaughter is somewhere in Canada. That is the extent of my living family. The worst part is knowing that it's all my fault."

Tears had begun to stream down David's face. "My first wife, Laura, died in a car crash. I couldn't summon the strength to save her. I turned myself into the Hulk hoping to gain such strength. Years later, I had that strength, and I still failed to save my second wife, Carolyn."

"But the ISO-36 will help us, right?" said Dean, "It'll cure us of the . . . monsters."

"I believe so," said David, wiping his eyes, "but for me, it's not so easy. You have a life, a family, and friends waiting for you. I have no one and nothing. The closest thing to a friend I've had for the last three decades is a reporter who wants to hunt me down and put me in a cage."

"But you have a place," said Dean, "You can stay here, in Stars Hollow. You can have a new life."

"Not much," said David bitterly, "The only reason I still look 36 is because of the Hulk's healing power. Without, I'll begin to age rapidly, and I could be dead anywhere between six months and five years."

* * *

**Woodbury**

"Dead ends," said McGee, wheeling into the hotel room, "nobody's seen anyone that looks even remotely like John Doe or the Hulk."

Logan was about to reply, but his cellphone started ringing. "It's one of my news contacts in Stars Hollow," he said, answering it.

It was a short call, but when Logan hung up, he was considerably paler than when he'd began.

"Huntzburger, what's wrong?" said McGee.

"An enormous creature just trashed the local high school," said Logan.

"We're going to Stars Hollow," said Jack, turning around and wheeling out.

* * *

_**(A/N: Wish me luck, for tomorrow is my first day of college. Please Review.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	12. ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

Yes, it's happened. The stress of college work has caused my brain to enter a state of severe writers' block. I don't think it'll last long, but don't expect any updates soon. Please rest assured that I fully intend to finish this fanfic AND write a sequel for it. If you're actually still interested in reading it, well, Thank you.

If anyone out there has any ideas, feel free to share them. The right idea JUST MIGHT knock my brain out of writing atrophy.


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